Aha! This ep is totally channelling The Princess Bride! Danny’s telling the story to McG while they sit in the car. Even in the car, it’s still very sunny and bright. And yet, still so so blue:
Turns out they’re on stakeout waiting for a guy who is bizarrely wearing jeans and a heavy jacket. He seems more dressed for Jersey, to be honest. They chase him up and down and all over town – at one point Danny jumps over a scooter! this is TOTALLY a shout-out to us – and some cars play chicken with McG (because he is the new Chuck Norris). The fugitive pulls a gun and starts shooting, and Danny kills him DEAD. At least, I assume he’s dead. He looks dead.
We’re nearly five minutes in and still no credits yet. Micheeeeelle! Where aaaare youuuu?
Danny opens the guy’s jacket and the reason for his out-of-season look becomes appallingly clear – he has a bomb strapped to his chest. That jacket was seriously fugly, as well. He is having a REALLY bad day.
Finally! Hiii Michelle! You total fox.
Proper Hawaii intro. Sucks to be you, Jersey. Nine hours earlier, Danny’s sitting in front of some very pink curtains, and in case we were in any doubt, we can now confirm that pink is not his colour. He’s in a shop with Monkey who is trying on formal dresses – she comes out of the dressing room wearing a lampshade that is even MORE PINK than the curtains. From the smile on her face, Danny can tell (because he’s a detective and good at reading faces, innit) that she really REALLY loves this dress, so he refrains from telling her she looks like mood lighting and instead tells her that he loves it. Aww, she gives him a kiss and says thank you for being her date tonight because she knows he hates dancing. He tells her he doesn’t hate dancing, at which point the shop assistant turns round and gives him a look that so totally says TAKE MEEEEE DANCING!!!! that I almost try to high-five my computer screen. He’s taken, babe. Sorry. Although we haven’t seen Gabby recently, but we know she’s in Hawaii because she’s filming Last Resort with Amy, the wife of Danny’s ex-partner from S1.
Oh, this is the Kardashian girl, isn’t it? She’s pretty. She tells him that kids grow up so fast, and he asks her how, at eighteen, she knows this. Durrrr, because she practically IS a kid, Danny, you dum-dum. Danny makes it very clear that he is not interested by effectively telling her: I have no money at all. Awww, Danny. Maybe she would love you for you? (As opposed to me, I love you for your shoulders and arms. But I’m shallow like that.)
Danny gets a call and Monkey gets a #sadface, because she has already forgotten Cath’s pep-talk from last week.