3.11 – Kahu – (Guardian) – Page 3

Kono calls and says that they got a print off the shotgun they found in the store (I completely forgot to mention this before) and it’s a guy who has a record of aggravated assault. Here follow three of the most awesome claricas Show has ever managed, one after the other:

Danny says in response to this news: “Sounds like the kind of guy who would have an unregistered shotgun.”

Ten seconds after that, they get to the guys house and there’s a truck with a lot of blood in it. McG says: “Does that look like blood to you?”

Three seconds after THAT, the guy himself comes through the gate, blood-spattered and carrying a shovel. Danny says: “He’s got blood on him, Steve.”

POW-POW-POW!!! Show, please stop targeting my brain cells with your rapid-fire clarica weapon. If you want to appeal to the lowest common denominator, just have McG TAKE OFF HIS PANTS and then you won’t need to have any dialogue at all. K? Aces.


Chin goes into the jungle to find out what’s up with the shovel while McG and Danny do their usual ‘guilty until proven innocent’ interrogation routine. Chin is digging up – ewwwwwwwwwww. Apparently this is what happens when you stick a shovel in a pig. Note to self: don’t do that. Quite apart from the mess, Danny and McG will have NO SYMPATHY. So this guy knew Ethan’s father (Bruce! His name is BRUCE. Must remember to call him that, much easier) because he worked at the store and sometimes ‘borrowed’ the shotgun for illegal hunting. He’s innocent then. Booyah.

pig splat

pig splat2


Cath is at Ethan’s house and he’s being nosy about her relationship with McG. She says he sounds like her mother and I have an epiphany about the horrible top! MY mother had one in almost that exact same fabric sometime in the 1980s! I think it came from Laura Ashley, but equally it might have come from C&A (I dimly recall a rather rude joke about knickers from C&A and what the C&A might stand for…. no, it’s gone). Cath’s packing some clothes and asks him where there’s a suitcase; he says there’s one in the basement, but he doesn’t want to go down there because he’s hurt his knee playing soccer but WE ALL KNOW that it’s because basements are scaaaaary. Cath takes pity on him, goes down by herself and finds the suitcase, which has a lot of cash in it. Hmmm. Mysterious.

Kono’s found the man who was shot at the store; he was anonymously dropped off at the local hospital but died during surgery. They have no idea who he is. I have no idea why she’s wearing orange. No-one looks good in orange. Wow, orange really suits you, said no-one, ever. The car, though, belongs to Bruce. He’s now Guilty-Until-Proven-Innocent number ONE!!



  1. That pig splatter was ga-ross. I am fully in agreement about McG taking his pants off.

    1. heymomo · · Reply

      The pig splatter wasn’t close enough to McG’s white pants to make them dirty enough for him to take them off. Damn.

    2. At first I thought they were saying “emu” and I was all WTF?

  2. All that awesome clarica & the murder victim, set of bad guys #1 and the real bad guy didn’t even have names until the very end. It really was a lot of talk about nothing. The kalua pig wasn’t the only hot mess in this episode.

    1. AC to the frickin’ A.

  3. only thing missing here is Chin’s face with all that stuff on, that’s hilarious…

  4. and btw I look great in orange… well, not Garfield-kind of orange, but more toned down, like apricot color – everybody say I’m looking good in my shirt of that color…

    1. Andrea BABYSIS YEAH!!!! DITTO
      I look great in Orange My favorite colour especially when being hugged by the Luscious O Loughlin. I have Orange tops, Orange shoes and bags . Nails and Lips Hello L’Oreal #410. NO fake tan tho I.m not THATcrazy about orange LOL, Fortunately Orange looks Fantastic under hawaii’s tropic sun. I LOVE ORANGE!! Just sayin.

      1. (bear in mind that I was a bit squiffy when I wrote most of this, hence the sweeping generalisations – and slight typos and punctuation mistakes….)

        1. No offence taken sweetheart, I hate the colour MUSTARD and I have a friend that wears only shades of Purple Now THAT I like.All women look good in Purple.. “Different strokes” babe.

    2. same here…one of my favorite summer clothes colors.
      The pig was just disgusting…..I can’t even imagine….
      I looked away, did he come around the corner gagging?
      I was gagging.

  5. canadagirl66 · · Reply

    Count me in for McG removing his pants!! By him NOT removing his pants each week…that is the REAL COTW!!!!
    I do try to ignore most of Show’s faults but am disturbed when top-of-the-class navy seals and experienced detectives state the obvious!!! I am not an idiot Show even though I have drool on my face!!!!

    1. REAL COTW!!!!
      CG FTW!!

    2. 😆 You rock CG!!

    3. Totally agree CG. One of Show’s many problems in the writing department is the clarica. Just as well for the pretty….

      1. And yet – and I know we’ve said this before – they expect the viewers to keep track of a COTW as convoluted as this. If you’re smart enough to keep track of what’s going on, you’re not stupid enough to NEED claricas!

        1. ^^^THIS^^^  


          1. So true! Alicia, I think that rates up there with the BEST EVER comment about Show. *nods head furiously*

    4. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

      But you just know they’ve had to dumb it down for a reason. There is so someone at home going “ohhhh I see!” Or maybe we did it to ourselves and they think with all our multitasking during tv watching they believe we need extra help in case we weren’t paying attention.

      1. canadagirl66 · · Reply

        So true…those are the same people that require such consumer warnings as “remove plastic wrap before cooking pizza”!!

        1. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

          Yup. Just think anything that has a warning has one because enough people tried to do whatever it says not to….

          Sent from my iPhone

  6. You guys should start making gifs, there´s no time to focus on the clarica or even any plot. Just study the white pants from every possible angle and occasionally look at Steve´s face talking (the kind that doesn´t need words) 🙂

    1. Paula you are so poetical. 😀

  7. CD great statement about the writers. funny 🙂

  8. Orange is a color you look great in or horrible in. When someone looks good in orange, they practically glow! You will not be able to miss it. Kono…not so much. But at least it wasn’t blue.

    Plot Schmot.

    the only things I cared about on this page was Steve’s laugh the white pants and the destruction of a perfectly good dinner of kalua pig!!

  9. I know, I know. We love AOL, but Look. At. Scotty! There in that picture where he is smiling? Yum.

    1. He was looking just amazing this ep. It’s not just the blue, although that didn’t hurt, obvi 😉

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