3.11 – Kahu – (Guardian) – Page 5

In the blue room. Yawn. I’m sorry, I’ve lost both track of, and interest in, this COTW so I’m not paying attention at all, except when Danny tells the guy that he thinks they should drop “the whole ‘jury of peers’ thing” and throw him in an active volcano. Really, Show?

Oh hello, Kono and your fugly orange top. Where ya been? Did you get stuck in the bathroom or something? Don’t be embarrassed, McG did that on the Missouri once. Perfectly co-ordinated with the varnished woodwork behind her and armed with only the information that Bruce was selling moonshine to a recluse who paid him with money from a bank heist in Chicago, Kono finds the guy’s address and off they –

Oh, she’s gone again. Can I put in a formal request for a Kono/Cath ep in which the men take a back seat? Thx.

So here are the MEN with the GUNS at the $594,000 complex which looks like a shed. I’m guessing the bank robber bought it for the seclusion because… damn. It wasn’t for the heated pool and sundeck. It’s so small that they check it out in five seconds flat. Nobody’s home (although in fairness, if I lived somewhere like that I’d go out as much as possible too).

foy

Cath and Ethan are playing poker for sweets (who else is wondering how she and McG play poker?) when Bruce and the bad guy turn up. Ethan runs straight to the door but Cath is Smart and hides behind a wall. Oh, this ep is just one big targeting #fail. This guy has NO IDEA what he’s let himself in for. I’m actually wriggling in my seat with anticipation. McG and Danny are on their way because Cath isn’t answering her phone so McG naturally assumes something’s up. The bad guy sends Ethan down into the basement to get the suitcase with the money in it while Cath sets fire to some kitchen roll in the toaster – then when he goes to investigate the (slowest-reacting) smoke alarm (in the world, ever)…

Tee hee. Cath WALLOPS him, BAM! POW! SMACK! BANG! ELBOWS! KNEES! oh shame, that was quite a nice shelving unit WHACK! UPSIDE DOWN TWISTY MOVE IS AWESOME! SPLAT! down the stairs, ooh that looks nasty, but the guy kind of looks like he could do with a cigarette after that, despite being unconscious – and then McG and Danny arrive, just in time for Cath to look a bit smug, and I’m also looking a bit smug because I kind of called this:

blog post

But where are the faaaaaces? Humph. Never mind though, because I’m already sniggering over this exchange:

McG: “How’d you like that timing?”

Cath: “A little slow.”

bamf cath

I am a bad bad girl. But I’m rewarded for this by McG giving Cath the sweetest, loveliest smile ever, and then a little cuddle. akldjskaldjksaldjskal. Show, you’re just encouraging me, you know. (Don’t stop.)

cuddle gif

cuddle gif2

OK, we’ve kind of done this last scene, haven’t we? Max having to have the Mile-High Club explained to him. McG James-Bond-ing about the place in a tux. Cath jumping into his arms (always said she was a smart girl). McG being all pleased with himself because he thinks he’s FINALLY figured out What Women Want (even though he obvi hasn’t, at all, but let’s allow him the moment).

But seriously, does anyone know where Cath’s watch is from?

(I’ve realised that I’ve been v clever here. Because of my choice of alcoholic beverage, I can now end this recap by saying – )

Shirazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh yeah.

311-promo-walk311-promo-3311-promo-4311-promo-5311-promo-6

From Westy:

I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.  I can’t stay away from the ugly, so here’s a slideshow of ugly for you. Please forgive me.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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62 comments

  1. Thanks for an awesome recap, Alicia!

    I stuffed up the slideshow and in the middle there is a small square, but there are pics after it, so just keep going people.

    I’ll fix it tomorrow.

    1. There’s one pic in that slideshow and McG’s guns make the semi-automatic rifle look tiiiiiny!

  2. Cath was amazing! I thought McG might have been a little bit more concerned about her though. I still don’t know what Bruce was doing and why the hermit guy was after him. COTW was very boring this episode.

    And seriously…if I stole $2M I wouldn’t be living in a dump like that. Where’s the fun in that??

    I wonder where McG took Cath for dinner. And I wonder if they even ended up having dinner.

    1. I completely lost track of who everybody was, and then realised that I didn’t actually care. That’s not good, it it? #fail

      1. heymomo · · Reply

        I lost track of everyone too. And their names. I couldn’t figure out how Danny knew the name of the guy in the recluse guy’s house. Eventually I realized he was the guy from the blue room. I totally lost the plot of the COTW. Having said that, it meant I could focus on the pretty and the McRoll.

        1. I have NO IDEA what you’re talking about. (Except the bit about the pretty and the McRoll. That’s loud and clear, baby!)

  3. Ugh, I can’t believe you like that watch. #TeamNakedWrists

    Take it back about the watch or else we can’t be friends. I’m starting a petition to get the watch off the show. The watch is stupid & serves no purpose. It can’t act! I can’t believe you ship Cath/Watch WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

    ha hahahahahahaha ok that made me feel better.

    1. #TeamCath+Watch4EVAH!!!

      😉

      1. You’re both haters. It’s because she’s a woman, right?

        1. In this case yes, the watch is a woman.

          1. I think you missed my sarcasm sign…???

          2. Or am I missing yours? Lol!

            1. 😆 I’m not sure anymore!

              1. Hey you two! Take that sh/t somewhere else! If you need any suggestions as to where, lemme know… 🙂

        2. Kimphin1 · · Reply

          No, its because Cath’s watch takes away screentime from McG’s watch. Duh!!

          1. This is true. I don’t even remember if McG was WEARING a watch! Horrors!!

            The Watch Must DIE.

            (Luckily Justine has found me an EVEN NICER one, so I’m good with that.)

          2. Dear Kim,

            I.Love.You.
            Real love.
            That is all.

            ESS

            1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

              🙂

              Or because Caths watch is keeping Steve’s watch from being synchronized with Danny’s watch.

              1. Dying, just dying of laughter here….

              2. I’ll try to be more polite to Alicia about my non-preference for the watch next time, thanks ladies.

                ________________________________

                1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

                  😉

                  You guys always make me feel better! LOL!

                2. sj2 sorry my mistake on the watch business. The spelling was Michele not Michelle

                  1. Don’t apologise! That was hilarious! (Sorry Justine, but it was.)

                  2. Michele Watches everybody! Pretty sure they have nothing to do with Ms Borth, but hey, sparkly diamonds! I’ve surely wasted more time on the internet doing something much less fun than daydreaming about owning a thousand dollar watch. Click on the “create your own timepiece” link & go to town! it’s quite fun! and at the very least, the Michele people will wonder why they go so many clicks originating from a Hawaii Five 0 fan blog…

              3. Best.comment.ever!

              4. heymomo · · Reply

                Bwah ha ha!!

    2. sj2…google… michelle Borth…she has a watch business .

      1. Is that so?      What’s it called?    

        ________________________________

        1. No! Don’t listen to Louis!!!! Unless u wanna see naked pictures of Borth!

          1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

            Says the woman who googled Michelle Borth watch business!

            dying laughing.

            1. I think that is how we got our info on the toe porn business. First one to google gets an eyeful and the rest of us get the warning.
              *laughing so hard now*

        2. my error.. spelling was Michele, not Michelle.

  4. Great recap Alicia 😀 had more fun reading this than watching this episode. After last week´s really great epi this was bound to be a bit disappointing. Now off to a long hiatus again 😦
    Alex did though look really gorgeous. Don´t know if this epi was filmed after Lion´s first roar but he looked so damned good. He must be eating his greens.

    1. ACA the recap was infinitely better than the episode. It was not a stellar outing after last week’s awesomeness.

      1. *faints with pride*

        Thank you so much! 🙂

    2. Thanks Paula 🙂 it wasn’t as great as last week’s, as it? A lot to live up to.

  5. Steve’s faaace after she said “a little slow” …”had it covered”‘ then Ethan agreed. OMG she can get a reaction out of him. I’m sure her BAness is quite the turn on for him. His definitely gets my juices flowing 😛

  6. Alicia your recap made me smile and sometime laugh 🙂 . The show wasn’t great, but Steve and Cath relationship took a step forward.

    I hope by episode twenty-two it’s worth the wait of seeing them in bed making the same noise that came from Madam Victor office.

  7. I actually really loved this episode. I rarely care about the COTW so that didn’t take away from show for me at all. It hit on all the personal tones so it was a win/win for me.

    1. Well, I love a good COTW and an ep can being completely ruined for me by a bad one, but I loved it even though the COTW was a bit lame. The McG/Cath scenes were just that good.

  8. I notice Steve kiss Cath under the lower lip (chin). Did Alex have a cigar prior to the scene?

    There a picture ( by Michelle) of Alex in a tux with a cigar in his hand.

  9. heymomo · · Reply

    Awesome recap Alicia!! More tipsy recaps!!

    1. Thank you babe! ❤

    1. Wow, I LOVE this!!

  10. Alicia, I definitely loved your recap more than the episode. It certainly was difficult to follow last week’s awesomeness, though. I kinda wish last week’s had been the final one for the year as it would have left me feeling warm and fuzzy about Show rather than, well, I dunno really.

    Perhaps I am watching Show for the wrong reasons but I like a decent COTW….

  11. cvc-eve · · Reply

    I needed the crayon diary to follow it. I realized when they were creeping up on some house, and I had no idea who or why and didn’t much care. HOWEVER! damn he sure does look good!
    Good recap, accurately assessing my interest in helo purchases and Max diagnoses and zzzzzzzzzzz whatever else happened when I wasn’t seeing beefy McG on screen.

    1. My crayons took one look at this ep, said “not in a month of Sundays” and ran away.

      I don’t think I had enough colours, anyway.

      1. Box of 64 wouldn’t cover it unless you had ample shades of beige for blah. (I purposely did not say shades of gr.y for so many reasons)

        1. Ep 3.2 was epicly confusing but this one rates up there for sure…

        2. I love how we have to edit the “e” in gr.y now like in s.xing. 😆

          ________________________________

          1. I don’t have ANY shades of gr.y in my pencil case. I feel strangely proud of that.

  12. Kimphin1 · · Reply

    I don’t think that the bad guy who got has A.$ kicked by Cath was unconscious at all…. I think that he’s drinking moonshine with the devil.

    Also, if the kid wasn’t afraid of the basement BEFORE, he surely is NOW.

    1. Yeah, he did look kind of deadJim, didn’t he?

      1. heymomo · · Reply

        And broken limbed. Which I guess doesn’t matter if he’s dead…

  13. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

    I love your recap Alicia as much as I loved this episode, which was lots and lots. 😀

    1. Thanks Grace 🙂

  14. Alicia, fabulous recap!

    I watched this epsiode twice and zoned out both times with the COTW. All I got was…missing Dad, kid with a hair cut phobia, store with a puddle of blood, moonshine, Sulu from Star Trek, scary basement with a suitcase full of money…and by the end of the show had no idea how it all fit together and didn’t care all that much. Needless to say I enjoyed your recap much more than I did the actual episode. #TeamShirazzzzzzzz

    1. cvc-eve · · Reply

      Haircut phobia, yes! I thought we were gonna get some reason why the kid was afraid of the basement, but no, that was just kinda lame. #teamshirazzzzzzzzz

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