Pt. 4 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

It’s time for another installment of the search terms people use which bring them to the Champ Box.  The most popular searches continue to be for Steve McGarrett’s cargo pants, Steve McGarrett’s tattoos, and yes – is Lori Weston returning to Hawaii Five-0.  There are clearly some die-hard Lori fans out there who just won’t.give.up. (No h8!)  Disturbingly, there seem to be a LOT of people out there googling or binging things like kidnap, duct tape, bound and gagged.  Even more disturbing – for them at least – is that they end up here 🙂

So, cargo pants and tattoos aside (because, seriously, how.many.times can I keep posting those pics?  You must be tired of them by now??) – here are the most popular and unusual search terms for the last month. Enjoy!

pics and gifs by @neropatti,, @h50BAMF and unknown sources. Please let me know if I’ve used one of your pics so I can credit you.

mcgarrett she wanted him

mcg faaaaces ishfwilf1

Look at those faaaaaaces! Of course she wanted him. Who in their right mind wouldn’t?

actor cop uniform

uniform collage various

Here’s an actor, who plays a cop, in uniform.

did alex o’loughlin hurt his shoulder when he jumped the escalator

I don’t know if he hurt it for realz, but wasn’t it awesome? Although I don’t know how McG threw that football later.

escaltor footy collage

aca joe cargo pants for men

At first, I thought this was an ALL CAPS AGREEMENT to see Joe White in cargo pants. And I had to wonder why?  WHY would you google Joe in cargo pants, when you can google McG in cargo pants?  Then I had to do a little googling myself (that sounds kinda dirty!) and I discovered that there actually is a brand of clothing called Aca Joe.  Who knew?  Anyway, to get to the point, I couldn’t find any pics of Joe in cargos, and I know you don’t really want to see Aca Joe’s range of cargo pants, so I guess these will have to do. (I knew I wouldn’t get away without doing any pics of McG in his cargo pants. It’s like a tradition now.) Here ya go…

cargosbutt cargos-butt2 cargos-5 cargos-4 cargo-f1 cargos-22 cargos-p1 cargos cargos2

steve mcgarrett flying helicopter

There’s a TV commercial here in Oz for an insurance company featuring a lady called Rhonda. One of the catch phrases is ‘eyes on the road, Rhonda.’ Andrea and I always giggle when we see pics of Steve who never keeps his eyes on the road or the sky when operating some mode of transport. Here’s a link to the commercial

helicopter collage2

michelle borth hawaii five 0

suggit collage

Too soon? Ah, well…#fuggit. (Don’t h8 me!) 🙂

what cargo pants does commander mcgarrett wear on the hookman episode

Commander McGarrett wears the white pants on Hookman.  Someone’s a fan boy of One Direction…

hookman cargo collage

These ones…not my fave (and yet, I’ve made a collage with 16 pics of them.) Bring back the black cargos! #teamnowhitepants
And how the heck does he keep them so clean chasing crims around the island all day??

Would thigh holsters make these boys look better? Nope?

Would thigh holsters make these boys look better? Nope?

steve mcgarrett needs to go back to cargo pants

Steve McGarrett needs to LOSE the cargo pants! Sorry, no pics available.  We live in hope……

steve mcgarrett jeans

Hawaii Five-0

The only thing better than the black cargos.


steve mcgarrett udt seal shirt


Someone needs to fire the H50 make up department. #orange #freethegecko

udt collage


I think McG really likes the view. A lot.

what does steve mcgarrett wear

Cargos, kevlar and thigh holsters. Uniforms. Boardies. Blue shirts. Suits. Plaid. Wife beaters (singlets for the Aussies) Dorky hats.

what steve wears

And he wears it all so well.

i’m sexy and i know it bitch please what can i do know i am in love with alex o’loughlin

Bitch. Please. Get in line.

And the top three are:

3. ugly girls need c0ck too

ugly girls

Hey, ugly girls…you want summa dis?


Three ugly girls wanted…

2. hawaii five0 steve discovers that danny been turned into a vampire

S: What’s in the bag, Danny?D: It’s my lunch, genius.

S: What’s in the bag, Danny?
D: It’s my lunch, genius.

S: Whaddya got?D: A salad and uh…a uh… bottle of blood.

S: Whaddya got?
D: A salad and uh…a uh… bottle of blood.

S: A bottle of blood? WTF??

S: A bottle of blood? WTF??

D: I am a…VAM-pire.

D: I am a…VAM-pire.

S: Oh, really? So, how did this happen?

S: Oh, really? So, how did this happen?

D: I dunno, I just woke up one morning and I was a vampire. I really want to bite your neck right now.

D: I dunno, I just woke up one morning and I was a vampire. I really want to bite your neck right now.

S: Yep. You and every woman on the planet. My neck IS amazingly awesome. Line forms to the right.

S: Yep. You and every woman on the planet. My neck IS amazingly awesome. Line forms to the right.


1. does alex o’loughlin have a huge p3nis

Well, over at H50 Sardonic, it was bestowed with a special name.  You’ve all heard of The FOY, right?

mea makamae collage3

D: Would you PLEASE stop playing with it!S: But it’s sooooo heavy!

D: Would you PLEASE stop playing with it!
S: But it’s sooooo heavy!

Until next time!


  1. paula · · Reply

    Finally Westy! I´ve been waiting for this search term post for so loooong, and I wasn´t disappointed 🙂 You always bring the fun, though I am a bit skeptical with some of the search terms (read ugly girls need c*ck too) LOL
    Ps the mea makamea collage doesn´t show here seems to be a broken link?
    I need to go over these once more, never can have enough laughs 😀

    1. I can assure you, Paula…all of the search terms are legit. 🙂 I did wonder about the ugly girls one though…I mean, how the heck did they end up here??

  2. Maria Joaoi · · Reply

    Another Great work. I also have problems with the collage and the pic of One Direction. Hugs from Portugal.

    1. I can see the pic of One Direction. Typical!! 😉

    2. Thanks Maria 🙂 I’ve fixed all the pics now, so you should be able to see the 1D pic now. Lucky you!

  3. Anonymous · · Reply

    I love a filthy collection of searches!!!
    I’ve never actually thought to Google ” have a huge c0ck?” I’ve always just assumed “F yeah!” based on what my magic 8-ball answered, “all signs point to yes”.
    SBJ&TO I just love every last solid inch of him.
    I mean head to toe you perv’s!!!

    1. Is that you, Justine?

      1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

        Gotta love how we can pick each other out of an anonymous lineup. ❤

    2. Hey!!! That’s me! Stupid WP!

      1. Seriously, I am laughing so hard right now!

        1. I love that you knew that was Justine….

          1. paula · · Reply

            LOL me too, am dying here. Justine can´t do anonymous anymore 😉

        2. How did u know it was me???

          1. J, are you having problems with any of the pics??

            1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

              I can’t see any of the vampire ones

              1. Fkn WordPress! I don’t know how to fix it, because it’s not broke for me!

                1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

                  When I click on them they say “file not found” I’m vertainly not a WP expert… do you have them in your media gallery?

                  1. I just realized what I did. sigh…I’ll fix ’em in a minute.

          2. Aw, babe, I know you too well! 🙂

  4. Apparently, some of the pics aren’t showing (according to a panicked email I just received from Alicia!) but they show up fine for me, so I’ll try and find out what’s going on.

    1. I was not panicking! I was rationally concerned. 😉

    2. paula · · Reply

      The One Direction link is 404 error too. But the most important pics are ok so no worries 🙂
      Thank you Westy for this post, I keep forgetting to say the TYs always…

      1. You’re very welcome, Paula. And the 1D is available for viewing. You know you want to!

        1. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

          I think my favourite search term is the UDT shirt one. Hi fellow navy singlet loving people. They picked on me for saying I liked that top. Good to know I
          There a fellow like minded people out there. Yay!

          Westy I love these. Even if some of the search terms creep me out a tad.

          1. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

            Uhh I have no idea why that posted so far up the page. WP is being a koala for me tonight.

  5. Westy! Stop googling yourself, you’ll go blind! 😉

    I miss the cargoes.

    That gif of him enjoying the scenery will NEVER get old.



  6. Its loading slow but that’s because I have an awful signal

    I feel like the most obvious hooker in the world right now!

    1. You’re not obvious, you’re unique 🙂

  7. I FIXED IT!! I think. Can someone let me know if the vamp pics and the last one about AOL’s peen show up. Thanks.

    1. Oh, it’s working now. WHALE!!! The ‘yep’ pic!! #dying

    2. OMG and Danny’s hands when he says ‘it weighs in at whale’!!! *actual tears now*

    3. paula · · Reply

      Glad you fixed it. Epic! LOL

  8. I grin like an idiot when I look at the pic of him holding that chicken……he’s such a dork.

    Thank you for the trip down double hitch memory lane Sue!

    1. The double hitch…sigh. ❤
      Even if he is wearing the white pants.

  9. LOVE THIS POST! ♥ *giggles*

  10. You brightened my day! Thank you! When did I become such a fangirl?

    1. Thanks, Caroline and Sue! Fangirling is such fun!

  11. Hilarious! I sooooo think of Rhonda when I see McG driving or flying especially the ep when Chin was rescued from prison. Eyes on the road, Rhonda! Classic.

  12. I love this, Westy! Thanks for posting.

    A few things:
    (1) Is it OK that I think McGarrett is ridiculously hot in his orange jumpsuit. (Maybe it’s not the jumpsuit, but rather the scruff and the BAMF lookon his face. ajskldjfkjdsk!)

    (2) Whenever I see pictures of McRoll eating/grilling/laying on the beach I think about how ridiculously uncomfortable they look, no matter how fabulous a shot they got out of it. I mean, who grills laying down?

    (3) Westy, you naughty girl. The whale series had me laughing out loud.


    1. McG makes orange look good.

      I debated about doing the whale collage…does it objectify Alex/McG? And then I laughed because isn’t that what we DO?? Although we do appreciate Alex’s awesome acting skills.

      1. Maha started that one! Totally not your fault 😉

  13. cvc-eve · · Reply

    The captions and search terms are so funny! It’s a shame you have to look at these so many times to pick out the best ones.

  14. Love this post .Alex looks good in anything.But i love the Tan and black cargos the best.Again thanks.Ilove them all,

  15. These posts are the greatest!! Loving Danny as vampire — Too Funny! 😀

  16. Thank you for that warm feeling all over & for the cargo collage!!! I really enjoyed the research involved & the results are spectacular!

    1. Thanks, cvc, Lucy and gracelou. Glad you enjoyed!

  17. FOYeur · · Reply

    Westy the Whale Whisperer….. 😛

    1. LOL, FOYeur…I’d completely forgotten about that. One day, I WILL get around to making that a blog post!

      1. FOYeur · · Reply

        Better do it soon, or otherwise I will. 🙂

        1. Be my guest…. 😄

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