Hey, it’s Westy. Seems like ages since I did a recap (or since I sweet-talked Alicia and Andrea into becoming my minions and doing all the hard work!) In fact, it’s ages since we had a new episode to watch. As I know absolutely nothing about roller derby and have never watched Dog the Bounty Hunter – ever – there are probably going to be a lot of missed opportunities at humour, in-jokes and the like in this recap. Did you pick a roller derby name? Mine is ‘Whip It Westy.’ I don’t know if I’d be a jammer or a blocker – what do you call the person in a team who sits on the bench the whole time, or spends most of it on the floor? Maybe my RD name should be ‘Wipe the Floor Westy’, because I could wipe up the sweat puddles while I’m down there On The Floor <<<<that’s my sneaky JLo reference for all you Jenny-from-the-block h8ers!
Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman is trying to apprehend Russell. Maybe if Dog cut his hair and cut down on his accessories, he could move a little faster. He sends Beth and family to head Russell off, and finally, Dog slams him onto the hood of a car when WHAM! a young woman makes a less than elegant landing on the roof of the car. (This would have had a lot more impact for me – pun intended – if I hadn’t seen it in the promos.) So opens the COTW.
Steve and Mom are having some nice family time on the lake. I guess the missing twenty years mean they have a lot of catching up to do. Mom mentions that she and Cath are having lunch, which is nice, although Steve looks less than impressed. Getting to know your future daughter-in-law is a good thing. McDanno shippers can bow out now. (No h8!) I love Steve’s sheepish face when Mom mentions Mick the PI following her around. Mom asks Steve ‘what kind of son hires a PI to keep tabs on his mother?’ Hey, I can answer that! One whose mother faked her death and abandoned her family for twenty years, that’s who, Doris! So….#suggit. (You knew that was coming!)
Steve said EXACTLY THE SAME THING I JUST DID! Well, not the suggit part, but the rest. He says he’s got issues, trust issues, and Mom tells him to get over it. WTF?? Seriously? That’s the best she can do? The casual way in which she says it is making me almost hate her right now. Whoever’s writing Doris’s character is making her more and more unlikeable.
Steve gets a phone call to alert him to the latest case and heads off to the crime scene. Smooth Dog meets Dog. Duane tells Steve what he saw, and heads off to process Russell. And that’s it for Dog the Bounty Hunter. Not that I’m sad, because he kind of creeps me out a little. Any man who would take longer than me to wash his hair…well…
Max informs the team that the victim, on first impression was a jumper, but his second impression (not the impression she left on the car roof) leads him to believe that she didn’t jump as her tibia shot through her kneecaps (ewwww) which is consistent with someone trying to fight the fall. So we have a suspected murder victim. There are also bruises on her body which are unrelated to her fall. Max cannot rule out homicide until a full autopsy is performed. Have we worked out why Steve is wearing his badge around his neck? Does the FOY leave no room any more in the lower regions?
Chin tells Steve that there was a bloody ticket stub in the victim’s pocket, which has been sent to Charlie Fong for analysis. Kono informs them that the girl’s name was Dana Moore, a kindergarten teacher. Dana was, by all accounts, a nice girl who had recently broken up with her boyfriend. Her phone shows that she received and ignored nine calls from him the previous evening.
Steve and Danny head off to talk to John Hanson, Dana’s ex and probably the prime suspect at this moment. Hanson says he was not responsible for the bruises, and that Dana used clumsiness as an excuse for them. Apparently, Dana kept secrets from him, which was a major factor in their breakup. His reason for calling her so much the night before was too many drinks at a bar. He asked her to dinner – I guess that was one call of his she answered – but she said she was busy.
At the ME’s office, Max is pretending to be a makeup artist for a James Cameron movie. (Hey, maybe he can give the H50 makeup artists some tips on the right shade of orange to cover the gecko!) Danny asks him why he’s turning the victim into a member of the Blue Man Group . Am I the only person who’s never heard of these people?
Max McNerds about the blue dye called something beginning with a T which is very useful for identifying micro trauma to the skin. He suspects that Dana was injected with GHB as it was found in her bloodstream, but not in her stomach contents. Max identifies two marks on Dana’s back as the injection site. Self-injection would have been impossible so he concludes that Dana’s death was definitely no accident. He estimates the injection six to eight hours prior to Dana’s disorientation and plummet from the balcony.
Meanwhile, Chin calls and tells Steve and Danny that Hanson’s alibi checks out. He also found out that one of Dana’s co-workers invited her to dinner, but Dana said she had other plans because she was getting back with her boyfriend and having dinner with him.
Charlie Fong has managed to see through all the blood on the ticket stub and discovered that it was for the parking lot at the Kapiolani Recreation Centre, stamped 6.45pm. Steve says whatever happened to Dana started there. Because we are too dumb to work that out for ourselves.
Steve and Danny head off to the rec centre, and discover that Dana, the mild mannered kindy teacher, moonlighted (see what I did there?) as Dicey Hot, Roller Derby Girl.