Before we start: I didn’t overly like this episode, but I know that I am HUGELY in the minority there, so don’t let that put you off squeeing and flailing in the comments section :-). I’m afraid I don’t have many screencaps yet, I’m still not 100% (I have an ongoing chest infection that, fittingly for this recap, only hurts when I breathe) and sadly I just don’t have the energy to make a lot. I’ll add some more when I can.
So we’re at the North Korean border and Show knows its North Korean flag from its South Korean flag, which is more than can be said for us at the Olympics *sigh*. Everything looks very green, presumably because it rains a lot in Korea, and also because this is Hawaii. We all know what happens here because we’ve watched this clip twenty times: the North Koreans give McG a wooden box and he gives them two orange people with bags on their heads (if I ever wore orange I would need to put a bag on my head too, otherwise people would keep asking me if I was ill). The North Korean guy is wearing a super-duper uniform – nice Picard maneuver, by the way – but his ribbons are actually a piece of laminated card. For realz!! Awesome.
The credits seem inappropriately colourful and happy.
Ooh, BabySEALMcG!! And Joe White! Hiiiii Joe! So you were the guy McG was talking about in the Missouri ep! We had wondered. I know that it’s gruelling and intensive and the hardest thing ever and I would flake out after about five minutes, but I have to say SEAL training looks kind of fun. At one point Joe says “on your belly! On your back!” and then makes them wiggle about on the sand, thereby gaining instant honorary FUCUP status. What a guy.
McG’s pal Freddie is shivering like mad and gets picked on by Joe although the guy two places along from him looks like he’s actually convulsing. Maybe it’s not so much fun after all. Joe calls him a lot of names while he’s reciting the philosophy of the Navy SEALs (which is v awesome) and tells him that all he has to do is ring the bell three times and it will all be over. As there is no bell in sight and I know nothing about SEAL training at all, this gives me the impression that they are all issued with a dainty little bell of the sort that someone in a corset and voluminous skirt (probably played by Helena Bonham Carter) might use to summon tea and cucumber sandwiches, which they can take out and ring at any time. Turns out this is not quite right because in the next scene we see the bell and it’s about the size of Helena Bonham Carter’s head. Although not in A Room With A View, because her hair in that was MAHOOOOSIVE.
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Joe tells them to move out and McG practically drags his buddy away. Joe looks after them with an expression that might mean ‘that guy’s not going to make it’ or possibly ‘McG is so awesome, if only I could tell him his mother’s alive’ or could even be ‘I’m starving, I would kill for a cucumber sandwich right now’. If only he had a little bell.
I think my blood sugar might be getting a bit low.
That night, McG wakes up and notices that Freddie is not in bed – they give them proper mattresses?? That seems generous. I guess I thought they made them sleep on a bed of nails or something – and he rolls out of bed and we are all distracted from wondering where Freddie is by the fact that McG is NOT wearing sleep pants for once, but is instead wearing shorts. Proper shorts. Praise the Wardrobe! McG obviously knows where Freddie has gone, and indeed Freddie is at the bell, which he manages to ring only twice before – BAM – McG side-tackles him and I laugh, and then rewind it three times, because it’s funny. Also, Freddie needs to work on his observational skillz.
McG tells Freddie that he’s trying to stop him doing something he’ll regret later, and Freddie responds by punching him in the face, which he will probably regret later. Then they have a fight which shouldn’t be funny, but is, and then Joe comes out and they pretend they were just doing push-ups or something.
He sends them off on a bear-crawl – also featured in McG s*x bootcamp Day 3 – back to their bunks, during which Freddie tells McG that he’s ready to quit and McG guilt-trips him into not quitting by invoking the ‘proud father’ card, but keeps the ‘if only I could say that about my father *sniff*’ card up his sleeve in case he needs it later.