We’re back in Korea now, in an aircraft hanger with Freddie in his box. Cath is wearing three times as much make-up on her right eye as on her left. McG asks her to give him a few minutes with Freddie, and she goes off to call Danny because… they had to get him into this ep somewhere, I guess.
McG opens the box and – surprise – it’s not Freddie. Although if it had been, this would have been a REALLY short ep.
Another flashback (I am liking these very much) and now we’re in Iraq.
McG is in a tent with Joe White, a senior officer and ROBERT PICARDO!! aka Voyager’s holographic doctor!! I can’t believe I have not heard that he was in this ep. OK, he’s not in it for very long, but then neither was George Takei. He’s playing a CIA guy and doing his best impression of the Smoking Man from The X-Files. ALL CIA guys look like this, y’all.
So they’ve found out where one of the Hesse brothers are and why is McG’s face so dirty? He looks like he has a clay face pack on. Anton Hesse is going to be in North Korea brokering an arms deal and McG and his buddy are going after him. In an aeroplane, with parachutes. Awesome. McG asks Freddie why he’s so happy and it’s because he got married over the weekend! Because his new wife is pregnant!! Do you know, I think I’ve seen this film before. Then Freddie says that he’s seen McG with Cath and it’s twu wuv! Two things occur to me here:
1. I never knew that ‘Rollins’ was pronounced ‘Rawlins’. I have been saying it wrong in my head for nearly three years! In fact, longer than that because of Enid Rollins in the Sweet Valley High books! I’ve been saying it wrong since I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD, you guys, MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE!!!
2. If he’s seen Cath and McG together, why does Cath, for the entirety of this episode, act as if she never met the guy? He was McG’s best friend, if McG and Cath got to know each other well enough for the guy to be talking about them getting married then surely she would have known him reasonably well? And surely the conversation in the aircraft hangar would already have happened?
By the way, you know that McRoll background we were promised? That was it.
Freddie tells McG not to screw it up and McG makes a face that I think means “that’s easy for you to say but I’m so emotionally repressed that’s it’s going to be five years before I can even call her just to say hi”. Then they jump out of a plane six miles up THAT’S INSANE!!! But also awesome!! Mad respect to the people who actually do this for a living.
McG knows that the guy in the box isn’t Freddie because Freddie had got a tattoo on his arm to commemorate his marriage and the body in the box doesn’t have one. Cath thinks they should go through the proper channels but McG thinks that will take too long and Freddie’s family have waited three years to get his body back as it is. I think this is a very lame excuse.
I am not loving this episode very much at all.
And then – wow, I love it even less because what is this conversation? Cath tells McG that she’s going with him because she’s done three tours in Kabul and she’s just as qualified as him at taking care of herself. Um, sweetie, with the greatest of love, he’s the finest Navy SEAL in the history of ever and you work behind a desk. I doubt your tours in Kabul involved anything like the kind of experience he has. How I wish wish wish that you were as qualified as him, but you’re not written that way and trying to pretend you are just makes you look silly. Ditto saying that you’re not good at taking no for an answer, because the only thing you’ve ever insisted on where McG is concerned is what film to watch. Show, don’t tell.
A ‘he was my friend too’ would have gone a long way towards redeeming this scene.
So we’re going to be going into North Korea again and just to get this out of the way in one go, why has Cath a) touched up her make-up, b) let her hair down and probably styled it as well as it is far too straight to have spent any time tied back as it has been for this entire ep so far, and c) put on a pair of skinny jeans? Because when I go on an unauthorised, dangerous mission during which I may get shot, or possibly start a war if I screw up, I too will make sure that I’m wearing a pair of trousers that restrict my movements, that my make-up is immaculate and that my hair looks awesome even though it may blow into my face when I’m in the middle of a firefight and get me killed #sarcasm. I can just about give Show a pass on the hair on the assumption that this was written by someone who has never tried to have long hair and do any activity that involves moving a lot at the same time, but the make-up? MICHELLE BORTH IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO DOES NOT NEED TO WEAR THREE INCHES OF SLAP EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE????? But of course, she is a woman on Show and therefore the most important thing is that she looks attractive in a way that fits into the narrow parameters of how popular culture decrees that a woman should look. ARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!