It’s Gunn! hi Gunn! He’s looking at Avengers figurines with his son and is obviously in dire financial straits because even the kid’s picked up on it :-(.
Then a building explodes (I jumped! Did you jump?) and…. woah, should he be able to do that?? So Gunn Spidermans – sort of – up the side of the building and then saves a damsel in distress by jumping out of a four-storey window! While bystanders – including Skye! hiii Skye! – are filming the disaster on their cellphones which is a sad indictment of our modern age, etc.
And here’s Agent Ward sporting a matt black motorcycle helmet that just screams ‘Government!! Shoot me!!’ (not literally, that would be a weird and indeed stupid design feature) and he is One Sneaky Bastard. He breaks into some random red-tie dude’s apartment and opens his wall safe like so:
And then turns around to find a slightly startled woman holding a wooden spoon in the most sarcastic manner possible. I liked her, I was hoping she was going to come back into it at some point, because when the goons turn up and they and Ward start beating the crap out of each other, she doesn’t scream or flap, she just gives a ‘SO done with this shit’ look , and LEAVES!!
Also, buttkicking set to opera = winning!
So… here’s Ward telling Aunt Robin (sorry, I cannot help but think of her this way, because before I ever saw Avengers Assemble, I saw this:
and because I don’t watch HIMYM it made no sense to me for AGES. I just thought her character’s name was Robin. I was v confused) about what SHIELD is about and, hmmm… surely she already knows this? But never mind, because we just had this exchange:
Ward: I don’t think Thor’s technically a god.
Robin: Yeaaaah, you haven’t been near his arms.
THIS IS THE QUOTE OF MY LIFE!!! OF MY LIFE!!!!
And then COULSON LIVES!! walks out of a corner and says “welcome to Level 7” and then “sorry that corner was really dark and I couldn’t help myself” and I love him.
*snort* The Avengers aren’t Level 7 *snort*. Sweetie, Thor and Iron Man are about ten levels JUST BY THEMSELVES!!!!
Sooooo, Ward’s people skills are a poop with knives sticking out!! LOL!! Aunt Robin does not kick butt at Pictionary.
Hmmm. What really happened before the Battle of New York, then? From what this doctor guy and Hill (not Robin!) are saying, the official story (that he was only dead for 8 seconds and then recuperated in Tahiti) isn’t entirely accurate. “Tahiti. He really doesn’t know”…”He can never know”. But I’m not sure… does Coulson know? He keeps saying ‘it’s a magical place’ in a very Significant way. I think he knows more than he’s letting on.
Skye is trying to get Gunn to capitalise on his superheroism. I love the little noise she makes after the second ‘thank you’ :-). Also, Gunn’s name is Mike. Must remember that.
Coulson wants her to “drive the bus” although I don’t think he means an actual bus. She’s not keen until Coulson tells her that there’s no red tape. Also, he’s not asking. Also, it’s a really nice bus. And he’s not kidding! (except about the ‘bus’ part).
So, SHIELD are Assembling aboard the f/ck-off massive stealth plane and FitzSimmons OMG! “I’m not Hermione, I can’t create instant paralysis with that” OMG. I love them. Even though I can’t understand half of what they’re on about. But oh dear, Ward must be fun at parties. I want to hear the punchline of Coulson’s joke!
Skye’s ‘you’ll never find us, you’ll never see our faces, nothing will stop us getting to the truth’ speech… awkward.
Aww, Melinda May at the Mike’s-landing crater :-(. Was she at the Battle of New York? She said earlier that she wasn’t going back into the field.
Skye’s being interrogated but barely giving an inch even though Coulson’s wearing his ‘I know everything’ face. She mentions something called ‘centipede’ but Coulson and Ward don’t know what that is. Skye manages to keep her crowing to a minimum (Ha! She totally doesn’t! #love).
Mike’s about to lose his apartment and OK, so this is what ‘centipede’ means and even though it looks itchy, I WANT ONE!!!
*snort* Skye just called Ward ‘the T-1000’! And I would take offence to Ward saying ‘sweaty cosplay girls’ but you know, corsets are hot in more ways than one so he’s got a point, actually.
FitzSimmons’ little flying things are fabulous and they’re named after the dwarves in Snow White!
I can’t talk about this scene with the truth serum because I haven’t stopped laughing yet. “But they were terrible people. I didn’t feel good afterwards!” SEND HELP!!
Oh dear, now Mike is hulking out at the factory. He thinks he’s (literally) the hero of the story (as of course all antagonists should) so that makes the foreman who won’t give him his job back the bad guy. This is a Deep and Interesting point – he’s the hero so can his actions (i.e. beating to a pulp with a blunt instrument) against the bad guy be wrong?
Helloooo, majik table!!
So, Coulson gets what he wanted from Skye, which is Mike’s identity – and she agrees to help them find out what happened at the exploding building (which was a lab, I forgot to mention this before) because they have the video and she has the audio. FitzSimmons talk a lot of gibberish here, and I like that about half of what they say seems to be said telepathically. They are just too adorable for words.
Mike goes to see the woman he saved from the building and it turns out she’s the doctor who made the centipede! And she’s furious with him because apparently this stuff makes people go bonkers and that’s somehow… his fault. Charming. She says it’s a disaster and he says that no, it’s an origin story. Somehow I get the feeling he’s not going to get his own movie franchise, though.
This is the combination of the information they got from the lab, it’s v cool (but a bit confusing in still form).
Simmons has been analysing an alien rock she found at the lab and it’s similar to the serum used to create Captain America! but not similar enough obviously, because it makes people explode (and Captain America may have looked like he was going to pop a seam from time to time but spontaneous combustion was not something he needed to worry about). Marvellous.
Mike – with his son – has now kidnapped Skye and her van which is Very Bad News because FitzSimmons are just telling Coulson that Mike’s going to explode in the very near future. The only options are to get him away from people so he doesn’t take anyone with him, or put a bullet through his brain to stop the chemical reaction (which would presumably be Ward’s favourite option as he appears to be having Fun With Guns in the background).
Coulson tells them they need a third option and they say there’s not enough time and then gets all cross and says “Don’t ever tell me there’s no way. It’s on you. Get it done.” I’m a bit scared of him, but in a good way *shiver*.
When Melinda May calls to tell Coulson that Mike has taken Skye, he asks her if she’s all right and she says ‘we’ll discuss that later. At length‘ and I love her :-).
Skye’s erasing Mike’s identity so he can reinvent himself as a superhero and says she’s done it before, on herself presumably. I wonder why (and I hope we’ll find out). In the process she hacks into SHIELD to let them know she’s at a train station (which Simmons reacts to by asking Fitz ‘why are you making nonsense??’ which is something I ask too, typically on a daily basis).
At the station, SHIELD have cornered Mike, who opens the door of the van by kicking it off its hinges – expedient – and then legs it into the station with his son and Skye in tow. Skye creates a diversion by dragging some completely innocent bystanders into it, which seems mean but then… I guess if the guy explodes they’re not going to come out of it too well, hey? But even so, harsh. In the meantime the doctor – looking scary – has turned up with a hitman who is a TERRIBLE shot and actually does look like a T-1000.
SHIELD have got Mike’s son now and Skye is legging it to the door – Mike catches up with her just as T-1000 tries to shoot him and misses by about two feet (Skynet would have had him in for recycling after that, shocking) so he kicks the door open and… I dunno, they end up on the roof or something. And Skye just called Mike ‘Gunn’, I’m sure of it.
The T-1000 tries again with better results and Mike falls all the way down to the concourse and takes out a handy kiosk – and then, holy crap, Melinda May!! AWESOME butt-kicking!
Now Coulson’s talking to Mike – Ward wants to take the shot, but Coulson’s trying to convince Mike that what’s happened to him isn’t a good thing and also to buy time in the hope that FitzSimmons will save the day (and with Joss Whedon, that’s never a given). Mike’s bitterness about the way his life has turned out just because of a workplace injury “you took [my son]. You took my wife, my job, my house. You think this is killing me?” is so heart-wrenching. I love this whole conversation, especially because Ward is really listening and changing his mind.
Mike really thought he had the kind of opportunity that he never expected would come his way, the chance to live his life rather than just struggle through it and he doesn’t want to let go of that. But eventually he does, of course. “I could, you know. Be a hero.” *sniff*
And then Ward shoots Mike! NOOOOOOO!!!
But it’s OK! look! what is this and WHERE CAN I GET ONE???
FitzSimmons are trying to out-cute each other:
but that’s hopeless in the face of Coulson and his eye crinkles. STOP IT ALREADY!!
So whatever Ward shot Mike with worked and the day is saved!! Yay!! (and phew! Also I hope Mike will be back sometime). Now we’re at the house where Mike’s son will be staying until Mike’s recovered and look at Skye, look how gorgeous and how not-stick-thin she is *sigh*.
Coulson’s trying to convince her to join them and then…. and then… LOLA!!! WHAT THE HELL!!
This is SO daft but this episode has been so much fun that I’m not even mad!
Screencaps from screencapped.net