Pt 2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Looking for Steve McGarrett’s Clothes and Other Random Stuff

So, it’s been a while since Part 1 and I thought since operation ‘Send Alex Your Granny Panties’ was posted, there might be some interesting search terms.  There were. Very interesting.   And quite disturbing, in an interesting kind of way.  But more on those later… (just so you know, there are multiple pages to this post)

*hawaii 5-0 did steve film scenes with his mom

He did!  This one…Alex acting the shit out of the scene, as we all knew he would.

From AtPlenkov’s Twitter.

Cath meets Mom. Cath has her hands behind her back so Momma doesn’t see her claws. She’s got Mom’s number.

And just in case you were absent from the Universe the day this pic was posted on Twitter, it reads that in 3.4, Mom comes back. And she’s cooking omelettes.

Mom comes back. Cooking omelettes. Also, plaid appreciation day at H50 production offices.

I thought I would write a little Haiku seeing as Mom has been in Japan since Steve was 15. Or 16.

Mom, back from the dead

Cooking Steve an omelette

 Not with powdered eggs

Pic from

*where does alex o’loughlin hang out in Hawaii


Here ya go 🙂

Yo, Scooter! Move it!


*steve mcgarrett cargo pants

Again?? We did this in part 1.  But ok, if you insist.

Empty cargo pants! Does this mean that somewhere, out there, McG is pantsless??

I prefer the black cargos, but the TAN ones do have a certain ‘something’.

Oh, there’s cargo pants in this pic? They’re scooters. Look at those guns!

I’m gonna call Westy and see if she’s free tonight.

*what brand is mcgarrett’s pants

According to a tweet from @PLenkov, they are Superdry cargo pants.  I visited the website and all I can say is – they really need to get McGarrett to model for them.

*steve mcgarrett new pants

Squeeee!  Is this like ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ where they.are.invisible?? Unfortunately, there is no accompanying picture for this as yet. But we live in hope. McG’s pantslessness is the FUCUP Crusade.

what brand of shirt does mcgarrett wear on hawaii five

September 26, 2011 “Columbus” – A Tori Richard exclusive.  Not one of his best shirts.

Leave the Hawaiian shirts to Chin, Steve. He can rock them.

 *what pants does mcgarrett wear in hawaii five 0

Hmm.  That’s a tough one.  Could they be cargo pants?

*man ass cargo pants

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

No, you go first, Steve. I insist. I’m right behind you. *faceplant*

*witch t-short donsteve mcgarrett wear

I don’t know what this means.  I tried really hard to imagine a T short, but I just.couldn’t so…seeing as how I don’t think that a t-short actually exists, I’m going to assume you meant ‘witch t-shirt.’  However, I am confused as to whether you want to know if Steve Mcgarrett do or don’ wear it.

The T shirt Steve McGarrett do wear. And he wears it so well.

The T shirt Steve McGarrett don’ wear. You’re welcome.

Another T shirt Steve McGarrett don’ wear. You’re welcome, again.

Missing: one T shirt.

Still missing…but check out the rest of the view.


*steve mcgarrett in uniform

Because Paula’s gifs are a.w.e.s.o.m.e! She does have good material to work with, though.

I’ve been a bad girl, Steve. You need to arrest me, handcuff me, frisk me and throw me in a cell.

Lori Weston

This was definitely covered in Part 1. But just to make it clear:

*on hawaii 5-0 is the profiler who left will she be back
*steve mcgarrett and lori weston in a romantic relationship
*is lori ever coming back to hawaii five-0
*bring back officer lara weston on hawaii 5 0
No. Neither Lara nor Lori will be back.
*lori weston hawaii 50 a female mcg
Oh, please.  Really?
This is a female McG. She can even run properly without looking like she’s going to hit herself in the face.

Motherf/cker won’t be duct taping me ever again.


*getting out of bed gif

I’m so glad you asked.

OMG, imagine waking up next to that every morning!

*strut gif

Follow me, ladies.

*micks pecs


*pecs gif

No Moobies!



  1. Awesome Westy.
    Any post that covers cargo’s, shirtlessness, and struts satisfy my needs for a while. I am easy that way 😛

    1. Thanks Foyeur. (I heard that about you 🙂 )

  2. Brilliantly funny Westy! Loved everything. You made me proud to be part of this 😀 Just awesomesauce!

    1. Ah, Paula. I could never do these posts without your amazing gifs. I can pretty much go to your tumblr and find every gif I need.

  3. Too.much.awesome! I can’t reply properly from my phone, it would take hours! Love it ALL!

    (you can post the pic of me in my pants, btw. They are s/xy pants 😉 )

    1. I wish I knew where it was. Justine? Can you post a link to Alicia modelling her GPs.

  4. Mary Jane · · Reply

    I like the blue cargo pants and the idea of him pantsless obvi. Love his faaaaace under that hat~ gorgeous, sorry Danny but it’s true.

    1. I love those blue-grey cargos. They’re not really scooters. That pant/shirt combo is just beautiful.
      Yeah, sorry Danno!

  5. Oh, Westy – I needed this today. So needed the funny! I can’t even pic a favorite.

    1. Well, read it again and pick one. I insist!
      Thanks 🙂

  6. AnnieOakley · · Reply

    I love you so much right now!

    1. Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  7. Is it wrong that I seriously want to rake my nails down his back and scar him for life? And I want to thank u for the “man ass cargo pants” pic because I can never see that picture too much. Ever.

    1. Please do leave your mark on him.
      Foyeur needs some new research material!

  8. Ok….my question for the powers that be….if Det. Danny Williams can have a jailhouse looking cross tattoo on his HAND….then why the frig can’t McG have a lizard and some red eyelashes over his nips????? Why?

    1. F U CBS! Fkn Koalas!

    2. “jailhouse looking cross tattoo” <— LOL! Yes, if any tattoo should be hidden it's that one. #freethegecko

  9. EPIC!!! Love all the captions! Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.

  10. Andrea_Briz · · Reply

    Just looked at this quickly this morning, Westy. Sheer bloody brilliance. I might have to look at again (and again and again and again…) just to totally appreciate its brilliance. Totally. Best Friday present. Ever. I’m with Kimmer, can’t pick a favourite so I’ll just have to go back again to make my decision (did I mention going back AGAIN?).

    1. I think you really ned to read it about twenty times just to understand the depth of this post.

  11. heymomo · · Reply

    I literally started choking. This post nearly killered me! LMFAO!!!

  12. heymomo · · Reply

    I had NO IDEA that I was in such demand btw. Although I’m very afraid of the context 😉

    1. Isn’t it hilarious, momo? You should be afraid!

  13. Canadagirl66 · · Reply

    I think I strained something while I was trying to supress my laughter when I read this at work….so flippin funny…especially….”This is a female McG. She can even run properly without looking like she’s going to hit herself in the face”….LMFAO…so true!!! Oh, and thanks for brightening my day with the pecs and the bum and the back (mmmmm, the baaaack) and the strut and yes, even the moobies!!!!!

    1. Andrea_Briz · · Reply

      Don’t get me started on Lori! They didn’t need a female McG because they had one already. And, yeah, some people should not run in public. Not. Ever. #justsaying

      1. Canadagirl66 · · Reply

        I used to cringe everytime I saw her run…it made her character even less believable and although I’ve never been filmed while I’ve been running, I’m pretty sure I look way better than she did, and trust me, THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING!!! (p.s. I like Lauren German…I think the writers failed her…and she really had no chemistry with AOL…do you think it’s because he couldn’t get past how she looked…while she was running?!!!)

        1. The writers failed LG in a huge way. She should sue them. They could have made her interesting.
          I can hear Alex saying ‘Strewth, she’s gonna conk herself on the head if she doesn’t stop flapping her arms about.’

          1. I’m with you, Westy. Even though, IMHO, the character was not needed, the writers failed LG big time and brought out the haters for sure. I have never seen LG in anything else before but can’t say she impressed me much as an actress; mind you, I might be basing my opinion on her role in 50. Agree with Canadagirl66 that the had ZERO chemistry with Alex and it wasn’t only her sh/t running style that was off.
            Yeah, I can hear Alex saying, “well, you’re bonza sheila but crikey, don’t run in public, love”.

  14. Thanks for the comments, ladies *cough*
    I’ll respond later because, believe it or not, I am going out for dinner (yes, I do have a real life!) so it will be some hours until I’m back online looking at pics of AOL.
    I just wanted to check in on the computer because when I was looking here on my phone, all the fkn pictures were out of sync with the captions.
    I thought you might all think I was crazy posting pics with weird captions (you don’t do you??) 🙂

    1. I love your captions (I may have mentioned this before). Even if they were in the wrong place I would still love them!

      I can’t pick out any favourite moments from this, because my favourite part is ALL OF IT!! Three whole pages of awesome! Westy, you’re amazing (I may have mentioned this before as well).


      1. Iloveyoutoo, Aleecia!

  15. I made it to the “thigh tan lines” picture, and then I died…Well, maybe I ran off in search of a poster-sized version of the picture…… ;-D How have I not seen this before???
    Love this part 2!!! Now, I’m wondering if some certain people are just f’kin with your searches on purpose…..

    1. ‘Now, I’m wondering if some certain people are just f’kin with your searches on purpose…..’

      I’m pretty sure you are correct! I think the ‘Alex is ugly’ one was a deliberate attempt to force me to post more ugly pics of him. Ha! I’m onto them!

      Can someone help Andr3a out with the other pics from that photo shoot??

    2. There never was bigger pics (original) published, only these stamp sized. Some photoshopped one or two bigger, but the quality is not good. Tried it myself too, the temptation was too big 😉

  16. WESTY!! your posts are always brilliant always hilarious and always SO PERFECT. You should comedy write for a living!!!!

    LOLing forever at the Men of Hawaii Five-0 with eyelashes search term… those specifically hilarious & random ones always get me.

    Loving forever the return of Princess Margaret!!

    And wondering seriously about Momo’s crazy antics… the internet never lies, Momo! What have you been up to???

    And also… F/ck you Chuck Norris!!!

    1. Awww, Steph…you complete me! Seriously, I think *everyone* here and on other H50 sites we all go to, is hilarious. I’m in good company. I think we all complement each other because our blogs are all different and focus on different aspects of our show and characters.

      The eyelash search made me giggle. Especially the one about ‘Hawaii Five-0 men, missing eyelashes.’ I didn’t post that one because, well…I couldn’t remember any time where Steve, Danny or Chin (or even Joe White) were eyelashless. Now pantsless…I would have searched high and low for those pics. (Except for Joe’s.) 🙂

      As for Momo…yeah, she’s weird, that one!

      1. Oh, yeah…F U Chuck Norris!

  17. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

    Ok that third pic of Steve in uniform, for some reason it has never looked like Alex to me, which is odd since it’s you know, Alex.

    1. That’s funny – because THAT picture? That was the total “SCHWING!” moment for me when watching the pilot on TV – and sent me quickly to IMDB to check out this new hot beast of a man….

      And, now that you mention it – its not really the Alex we have all come to perv over, is it? #AndYetTheOneWePervOverIsStillBetter

  18. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

    Also I am officially scared of the search terms people type into google….

  19. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

    I’m never going to get a headache ever again. Loved this Westy. 😀 I am laughing so much someone yelled out and told me to shut up. I am adopted!

  20. hunny_bee1 · · Reply

    Hahahaha! This is hilarious, actually had me laughing out loud! Seriously, how have I never seen this blog before now? It’s awesome. My favourite part? Where you re-affirmed what we ALL know – that Kono is the female McG, NOT Lori (and NOT Cath).

    1. Thank you so much for the compliment, hunny bee! And now that you’ve found this blog, please follow so you’ll know when there’s a new post! Or an awesome comment from one if these hilarious ladies. It’s what you’ve been looking for…and now you’ve found it! 🙂

  21. […] Pt 2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For ( […]

  22. OK, you have me crying I’m laughing so hard. Thank you!

    1. Thank YOU, Cokie! Stay tuned for Part 3 sometime after Christmas. 😄

  23. Anonymous · · Reply

    What Shoes/boot did Mcgarrett wore?

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