3.10 Huaka’I Kula (Field Trip) – Page 1

So, last week we had the Victoria’s Secret girls, this week it’s the Aloha Girls.

Gifs by @neropatti and bookemdannodotnet
 
Note: this recap was interrupted by my cat bringing a mouse inside then promptly letting it go. We spent a long time looking for the mouse, and by the time I got back to this, it was late and I had to finish it up in a hurry. Just so you know, we never did find the mouse.  Eek!
 

 We open in the Ka’a’awa Valley in O’ahu. At first, I think we are at McG S.x Bootcamp, but alas, I am wrong. Little Girl Guides gaze upon McG in awe and wonder –  and exactly how we would all be looking at him –  as he recites a story about boars and tigers. I’m sure he’s talking about FUCUPS as he tells the girls how deadly they are – how they can attack without warning.  Yep, he’s definitely talking about us!

Now McG is telling the girls about the ‘kill zone’ and the – what do you call a Girl Guide person in charge anyway – a troop leader? – is less than impressed with McG’s stories. Clearly she is a lesbian. How can she NOT be hanging on his every word, drinking in that masculinity? She refers to McG as ‘Colonel Kurtz’ which leaves me giggling. (For those who don’t get the reference, Col Kurtz was the character played by Marlon Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now’.)

Future Fucups

FUCUPS in training.

Lucy leaves McG’s storytelling for a reason I can’t quite make out while he unsheathes his weapon of choice. Sadly, it’s not the weapon we were all hoping for, ladies. The little girls however, seem impressed with the knife he presents to them, and there are lots of ‘oohs’. (These are definitely future FUCUPS!)

weapon of choice

McG’s weapon of choice. Not mine. There’s another deadly weapon he could be showing me.

Madeline, the troop leader, goes to check on Lucy, while Danny advises McG that his stories are not what Danny had in mind when he invited McG on the field trip. Danny was hoping for him to teach the girls survival skills, like finding fresh water or making pillows out of flowers. Because, well, you never know when a fresh flower pillow can mean the difference between life and death, right?

McG thinks the girls might like to know how to throw knives instead, and demonstrates by skewering a tree. Danny has a resigned look on his face, unsurprised and unimpressed by McG’s knife throwing skills.

knife1

knife2
knife3

knife4

knife5

knife6
Madeline returns to say that Lucy is missing. McG goes off to look for her, and discovers that Lucy has found Ron, age 50, severely dehydrated with a badly lacerated leg. She is training for her First Aid badge, and has thoroughly assessed his condition. Ron was hiking, fell down a ravine and cut his leg open on a rock.

McG fixes Ron up as best he can, and attempts to take him back to the camp, but Ron has other ideas. When he finds out that McG and Lucy are not alone, he pulls a gun on McG and demands his phone and knife. (Me…I would have demanded he remove his pants.)

ron demands

ron demands2

McG’s weapon gets stuck in his zipper as Ron demands that he take his pants off.

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27 comments

  1. His weapon got caught in his zipper!!!!!! OMG!!!!! Hooker!!! That hurts!! Those little zipper teeth leave marks!!

    1. Just read your comment as zipper has teeth marks…that could have been true though 😉

  2. Hey No H8ing on the flower pillows ok! Danno shows up says, “hey JK, wanna make flower pillows with me?” I’mma be all “hells yeah!!” 😀

    1. heymomo · · Reply

      Sooo… “flower pillows” is a euphemism, right?

      1. Kimphin1 · · Reply

        LOL! He’s gonna DEflower her pillows!!!

        1. heymomo · · Reply

          KIMMER!! LOL!

        2. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

          Kimmer wins at life!

      2. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

        Lol until you wrote that I was going to say, flower pillows are lame for people who have hay fever or are allergic but since it’s an euphemism then well being allergic would be totes lame. 😉

        1. LOL what is the opposite of allergic?

          1. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

            Addicted???

            1. ok, sure that works. 😉

              ________________________________

  3. McG’s storytelling is epic. EPIC!!! Also Danny being completely unimpressed made me LOL.

    McG couldn’t unleash his biggest weapon because it would have sent all the little girls into spontaneous puberty.

    1. Infant_Sardonic · · Reply

      I bet story time in the Alex/Malia house is the best ever.

  4. The worst thing is that Ron takes McG’s thigh holster away from him and for that I hope he dies a miserable prolonged painful death.

    1. ACA!! Also about the spontaneous puberty ! That’s a lot of panties being destroyed all at once 🙂

  5. heymomo · · Reply

    I loved the Aloha Girls. And the BEST THING about them was the OOOOOHS!

  6. The Aloha Girls were awesome. I giggled when I read your comment about them being FUCUPs in training. What exactly were they oohing and ahhhing over again?

    Also, the look on Alex’s face when he says “Who wants to learn how to do that?” is priceless.

    I’m going say on the other pages of this recap how awesome Lesley and Emily were in their roles but I’ll say it here, too. They were bloody marvellous! Love Lucy’s assessment of Ron’s injuries. She’s going for her first aid badge, y’all.

    1. The girls were so impressed with Steve´s knife throwing skills 😀 also loved Alex´s face for “who wants to learn that?” LOL Brilliant start to the episode!

      1. I love that the Aloha Girls are a bad influence on McG. I LOVE THIS!!!

  7. A ten year old quoting Apocalypse now so perfectly will definitively NOT need therapy after this day… and in that one, to me, it felt more like Alex hanging out with kids than Steve, which leaves me wondering what skills Saxon, Spike (after all named after a deadly vampire) and Lion could do to us, if we where to come to close to that family. Clicking sounds NOT included!!! ;-P

  8. mouse is an early holiday gift from your cat. he/she loves you…ahh, ahh.

  9. Deez biscuits · · Reply

    What is the type of knife steve has

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