3.10 Huaka’I Kula (Field Trip) – Page 1

So, last week we had the Victoria’s Secret girls, this week it’s the Aloha Girls.

Gifs by @neropatti and bookemdannodotnet

 

Note: this recap was interrupted by my cat bringing a mouse inside then promptly letting it go. We spent a long time looking for the mouse, and by the time I got back to this, it was late and I had to finish it up in a hurry. Just so you know, we never did find the mouse.  Eek!

 

 We open in the Ka’a’awa Valley in O’ahu. At first, I think we are at McG S.x Bootcamp, but alas, I am wrong. Little Girl Guides gaze upon McG in awe and wonder –  and exactly how we would all be looking at him –  as he recites a story about boars and tigers. I’m sure he’s talking about FUCUPS as he tells the girls how deadly they are – how they can attack without warning.  Yep, he’s definitely talking about us!

Now McG is telling the girls about the ‘kill zone’ and the – what do you call a Girl Guide person in charge anyway – a troop leader? – is less than impressed with McG’s stories. Clearly she is a lesbian. How can she NOT be hanging on his every word, drinking in that masculinity? She refers to McG as ‘Colonel Kurtz’ which leaves me giggling. (For those who don’t get the reference, Col Kurtz was the character played by Marlon Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now’.)

FUCUPS in training.

Lucy leaves McG’s storytelling for a reason I can’t quite make out while he unsheathes his weapon of choice. Sadly, it’s not the weapon we were all hoping for, ladies. The little girls however, seem impressed with the knife he presents to them, and there are lots of ‘oohs’. (These are definitely future FUCUPS!)

McG’s weapon of choice. Not mine. There’s another deadly weapon he could be showing me.

Madeline, the troop leader, goes to check on Lucy, while Danny advises McG that his stories are not what Danny had in mind when he invited McG on the field trip. Danny was hoping for him to teach the girls survival skills, like finding fresh water or making pillows out of flowers. Because, well, you never know when a fresh flower pillow can mean the difference between life and death, right?

McG thinks the girls might like to know how to throw knives instead, and demonstrates by skewering a tree. Danny has a resigned look on his face, unsurprised and unimpressed by McG’s knife throwing skills.

Madeline returns to say that Lucy is missing. McG goes off to look for her, and discovers that Lucy has found Ron, age 50, severely dehydrated with a badly lacerated leg. She is training for her First Aid badge, and has thoroughly assessed his condition. Ron was hiking, fell down a ravine and cut his leg open on a rock.

McG fixes Ron up as best he can, and attempts to take him back to the camp, but Ron has other ideas. When he finds out that McG and Lucy are not alone, he pulls a gun on McG and demands his phone and knife. (Me…I would have demanded he remove his pants.)

McG’s weapon gets stuck in his zipper as Ron demands that he take his pants off.

Tags: cargo pants, Chin, Danny, FOY, FUCUPS, Hawaii Five-0, Kono, pantsless, Steve McGarrett, thigh holsters